Saturday, October 09, 2010

The Beast

So back in the beginning of September, we took a little trip down to Santaquin to visit Dave's sister Kathy and take some family pictures for her and our friends down there. 
A friend's son called her and asked her to find out if anyone would like an Elk he had just shot because he and his brother both shot their elk and didn't know what they would do with TWO of them...

David and his ambitious self said he would like the elk. 
because, of course we have the freezer space...
and our DODGE STRATUS has a HUGE trunk...
Sure, lets take a however many ton animal home in the trunk of our 2003 Dodge Stratus!
On a hot September day!
While I am experiencing the JOY that is morning sickness and every smell on earth is magnified a billion times!
This could be fun! 
An adventure perhaps?

Now keep in mind that David nor I have ever (nor had I ever planned to) skinned, cut up, and packaged an animal of ANY magnitude...let alone the GIRTH of the beast that appeared before us in the back of a very weighed down Toyota pickup.
Now, I have never been known to be a girly girl, queasy at the sight of blood...or animal....tissue..
I have gutted a fish or two in my time...
I have aided in the gutting of a deer at least once in my life..
I have dissected the biology class frog..
BUT considering my sense of smell that could out rival that of the most highly trained FBI canine unit..
I took this photo and ran..
and dry heaved into the toilet. 
I'm sorry Dad. It's not how you raised me.

So, after the head was cut from the body to be stuffed and mounted..and the boys were done poking at the eyeballs and prying open the mouth..Dave began what he did not know would be a VERY long afternoon 
of skinning, cutting, cutting, and more cutting. Kathy's new bishop and also very good friend of ours stopped by after church (this is all taking place on a Sunday mind you) in his BRAND NEW suit and became David's saviour for the day..
He brought with him all the tools necessary for cutting and packaging such a creature..
and he helped. In his suit. Only in Santaquin Utah, my friends. We love you Andrew. I mean BISHOP.

I wish I could say the story ends happily with the meat being happily packaged and frozen..
but alas, I cannot. 
Wrapped in plastic and stuffed into our trunk, were two GINORMOUS back legs and buttocks of the

Cervus canadensis

or commonly known as the elk.

They were wrapped in our best sheets and hung in our garage, where they waited...and waited..
for what, I do not know..
for 7 days.

Meanwhile, the perpetrator (David) is in Wyoming installing security systems for a week...
I open the garage...and get a whiff of what to me is the WORST smell I have ever had the displeasure of entering into my nostrils..

Yes my friends..
the unmistakable stench of
rotting meat.

Sweet William, 
my father in law, came over to check on the meat...

I warned him..
but he unwrapped it anyways...


What does he do? He wraps it back up. Closes my garage.
And leaves.
Never returns.

So Dave gets home about 3 days later..
We MISS garbage day.

Those of you who have ever had morning sickness of ANY intensity...
you with me on this?


  1. I'm so sorry you had to endure that...So funny though. Just think of the memories you will get to share with your grandchildren someday. I was raised in a similar fashion to you, gutting my own fish and nothing seemed to bother me... Then one time I went fishing and was in the early weeks of pregnancy. I started to gut the fish, but there was no stopping it... Blah!!!

  2. i literally just started dry heaving in the garbage can next to the computer. hahaha. good heavens! that is so nasty ashley! i'm so sorry! i feel like i can smell it from here.

  3. Oh my goodness I was dry heaving reading this... GAG! I can only imagine being pregnant and smelling that!

  4. Oh Ashley, that's rough! I feel for you! I am happy to hear that you are expecting! It would fun to get together sometime.